Have you ever wondered which fetishes are more popular with women than men?
Culturally, the world of pornography and commercial sex has been driven by the male sex drive and, as a result, much of this market caters for the tastes of men. However, women enjoy fetishized sex just as much as men and have similar desires for taboos. In some ways, women’s fetishes can often be more imaginative with the female psyche more commonly being driven by the mind than the body. Whereas popular fetishes with men can involve very physical pleasures, the more popular female ones seem to focus more on both the emotional and mental state.
In this guide we take a look at some of the most common fetishes that women are interested in as well as the psychology behind them plus some popular fantasies thrown in.
Research on Female Fetishes
According to research undertaken by the popular blogger Aella Girl in which over 2000 men and women were surveyed on their sexual fetishes, tastes and opinions, women were more likely to favour the following:
- Females submitting
- Males dominating
- Heavy bondage
- Rape Play
Ranked in order of how they were perceived by society in terms of ‘tabooness’, the 527 women who took part favored the above more than men. Light use of bondage and alternative sexual positions were both ranked equally by the sexes whilst men were found to favor far more diverse sexual ‘deviances’, including foot fetishes, uniforms, latex and, of course, sounding.
Of course, this survey is just a drop in the ocean when it comes to the sheer diversity of what men and women find appealing in their kinks and fetishes. There are quite a few studies on the topic and one thing that most researchers conclude in common is that female fetishes have a strong link to power.
Whilst the reasons for this can be varied, the popular opinion is that this is about affirming feminine, sexual and self-adequacy. However, the forms that a fetish can take to deliver this can be many and varied.
Of course, there is no denying that for some women, a fetish is very simply about the sensations evoked and this feature is not written to be a conclusive list of the only fetishes that women are drawn to. Quite the opposite, just as Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is Okay (YKINMKBYKIOK), we acknowledge that some of these fetishes might not be for every woman and many ladies will have their own ideas of exactly what taboos turn them on.
From foot fetishes and dirty play to giantess transformations and lactation and pegging, all fetishes will have a female following of some form. Our list is based on widely acknowledge more female ‘friendly’ fetishes but you may have different ideas.
Most Popular Female Fetishes
In no particular order, the following fetishes have a strong female following as well as a male one. We explore the reasons why these fetishes are popular with women as well as their links to other kinks.
Domination & Submission
With power play being at the heart of a majority of fetishes, it is no surprise that domination and submission are popular with women.
According to psychologists it is common for people’s sexual fantasies to reflect the opposites of the role that they have in real life such that normally submissive women become aroused by playing dominant in their sexual lives.
By the same token, women who lead powerful roles outside of the bedroom can have a strong desire to be dominated in it. As well as creating a role that is at odds to their ‘normal’ and everyday selves, there is some evidence to suggest that women who like to be dominated in this way have a need to be wanted; domination can produce a strong feeling of being intensely desired.
Ironically, and perhaps surprisingly for some, submission in itself is also a form of control and many women who like to play the submissive do not feel like they are losing control. Quite the opposite, many women report that they are actually in control in a submissive role. Yes, whilst they are being dominated by their partner, it is fully at the request, and with permission, of the sub.
Domination and submission can also form a part of a BDSM fetish and involved forms of bondage and masochistic rituals. For some women, the fetish also links well with role playing (see below) with scenarios such as rape play being a turn on.
Role play can take many forms with only your imagination as a limit to the extent of the persona you can take on. For some role play is simply about stepping outside of your daily life and taking on an alter ego that is it at odds to the one you normally have. Role play can involve many other forms of fetishism and often takes a leaf out of one of the cornerstones of the fet-world, BDSM. Taking on a submissive or dominant role also lends itself it well to bondage, spanking and power dynamics.
Of course, role play can just as easily be about experimenting with sexy outfits such as nurses, maids and schoolgirls. For some it also offers a chance to subvert their normal daily grind and live out fantasies with common fetishes being for domination or submission in office role play.
High on some women’s fetish fantasies is rape play. Perhaps the ultimate in power play, rape play offers a safe environment for women to experience ultimate domination by their partner.
Watching someone else perform an intimate sexual act is one of the ultimate taboos and invokes a feeling of forbidden gratification. The act is made enticing by the idea of being caught and this alone can stimulate extra sensory pleasures.
Combined with other fetishes such as bondage, voyeurism becomes a kind of deprivation with some women being aroused by the delayed gratification involved when they cannot touch themselves or be brought to orgasm by another.
Other forms of fetishes can also be at play here including humiliation, power play and role play. Certainly, cuckolding is an extreme form of voyeurism that some men in particular are turned on by.
Exhibitionism has much of the same elements as voyeurism with the idea of being ‘caught’ central to the pleasures involved. Watching and being watched are two sides of the same coin yet exhibitionism also has its own kinks.
Sex (or nudity) in public are common fetishes for women and sometimes bridge the desire for humiliation particularly if they are coupled with a dominant male. The dynamics of a man (or Dominant female) being in control of their body’s exposure is a powerfully (and sexually) charged one with infinite ways to be exploited. Mainstream porn has many examples of this kind of fetish and is particularly well covered in Japanese and European markets.
Piercing and Cutting
One of the few fetishes that have a strong female interest which are more focused on physicality than mental, piercing and cutting forms a sub-genre of the SM fetish, or ‘blood play’. It is a common kink on the fetish scene and is often seen as an extension of the sensations evoked during other forms of SM play. For many it is a pleasure to give or receive pain but for others it is more about the marks left behind. Also known as scarification, these ‘brands’ are seen as the ultimate in ownership which is why the practice is also strongly linked to domination and submission.
The practice is not risk-free and requires a meticulous approach to hygiene if it is to form any part of healthy fetish play. There are inherent dangers in any form of blood play involving both infection and physical harm which all add to the sense of danger and, ultimately, pleasure.
Fantasies or Fetishes?
As well as the above fetishes, there are fantasies that are more common with women than they are with men. Some may say that these have links to fetishisms or are they simple fantasies?
Sex with a stranger
The idea of having sex with a stranger is a thrilling one that can touch on role play and power play. There are some women who fantasize about altogether more extreme variations of this kind of encounter including those who have a desire for extreme domination or risk.
Group sex is quite a common fantasy for women and plays on the multiple aspects of physical pleasure. It can take the form of a threesome, gang bang or orgy and may be expressed in a relationship with swinging. In contrast to many of the desires explored in our list, this is one that ultimately tips the balance in favor of physical desires instead of emotional ones. It is not surprising to learn that this is also a big fantasy for many men for the very same reasons.
However, we can’t ignore the fact that group sex has several aspects of fetishism at play including both voyeurism and exhibitionism.
Girl on Girl
A common fantasy for men to observe (and one they’d love to take part in) is lesbian sex. There is a school of thought that suggests that women are more turned on by the female form than the male form, even in heterosexual women. So, it is no surprise that sex with a woman is a common female fantasy.
One could theorize that this is bound up in domination and submission but I think we should just leave this one alone as a pure hedonistic fantasy to which every women should be entitled….and maybe fulfill?
Featured image via Pixabay.