The Fetish Dating Guide

Dating can be a murky world at the best of times and trying to find the perfect match can be harder for fetishists with very specific kinks. Fortunately the internet makes the word of fetish dating an easier prospect.

We wanted to take a look at the best places online to find a munch, hook up with like-minded kinksters and connect with people who share your passions. From mainstream sites like to smaller communities like CollarSpace, from cuckolding, dungeons and edgeplay to BDSM, suspension and torture.

Alt.Com is perhaps the world’s largest specialist dating website for people with fetishes. Operated by the global market leader in online dating, Adult Friend Finder, reports to have over 1.1 million members. Also known as, the site is popular with anyone looking to hook up with people who have a shared interest in bondage and S&M.

As the largest provider of such services, has a strong reputation but does fall short for some members when it comes to the expanse of fetishes catered for.

alt dot com fetish dating guide

The biggest online BDSM and fetish dating site, is run by AFF. Image via website.

Membership to the site is free and allows you to browse other members but you will need to pay a subscription fee if you want to really get the most from There are two types of membership you can choose from; Silver or Gold.

Silver membership costs $19.95 and lets you contact other members as well as giving you some access to community forums, blogs and groups.

Gold membership costs $29.95 per month and gives you full access to the online community including video intros, contact other members as well as get first dibs on any new members as well as putting your profile ahead of basic and silver members.

Both Silver and Gold membership can be purchased at discounted prices if you sign up for longer periods.

As well as basically being a large database of potential dating matches, is also a good source of information as well as a useful social networking site. The online community is active and offers a useful place to share kinks.


A free to use social networking and dating service for the BDSM and kink community, Fetster is a relatively small site in terms of its member base (when compared to or Fetlife).

fetster fetish dating guide

With plenty of functionality, Fetster has a wide community. Image via website.

Ranked 204,191 in the USA in terms of its size, Fetster’s community (derived from traffic figures) is mainly based in the USA (54%), Canada (10%) and India (10%). Having said this, the sites community is very active with average members spending around 10 minutes per session on each visit.

Once you have completed a comprehensive sign up form, searching for other users is very simple and allows you to find members via location or other basic details including fetishes, sexual persuasion and what they are seeking in a relationship.

Every user has a ‘wall’ much like MySpace or Facebook and you can connect with people in the same way as any other social networking tool.

Additional features such as forums, groups and classifieds makes being part of the online community a fully rounded social experience.

Anyone who is looking at a polyamorous relationship should head to Fetster’s own open relationship dating site, Beyond Two (see below).

Beyond Two

Run by the same company that launched Fetster, Beyond Two is a dedicated dating site for anyone looking for a polyamorous relationship. Whether you are in an open relationship or want to find other people who enjoy polyamory, Beyond Two is dedicated to joining families with a non-traditional approach to its membership.

The site is 100% free to use and offers an excellent way to connect with like-minded individuals in this specialist dating area. Most users are based in the USA and, though not strictly speaking a fetish dating site, is open to users with all kinds of kinks.


Also operated by the Adult Friend Finder network, BDSM Date offers another entrance portal for the site. Though access is different, the fundamentals are the same as for

Collar Space

Reportedly offering access to the ‘…largest BDSM community on the planet’, Collar Space is an international members only social networking site. Members come from across Europe, Australia and North America as well as some from Africa and South America.

collar space fetish dating guide

Free to use and with good functionality, CollarSpace has a good community. Image via website.

The site doesn’t have the visual glitz and glamour of more slick sites like nor does it have more than the basic contact functionality. However, it does have a good membership of active users that keeps the forums, groups and journals up to date.

Registering a profile is easy and free and you can create a discreet membership so that you do not show up in search engines. Once online, you will need to connect with other users to create your own dating opportunities. As a social networking site, not everyone is looking for a munch but you don’t get if you don’t ask.

The integral chatrooms are a useful way to start getting involved and it is recommended that you make your intentions clear within your profile to increase your chances of a date.

Bondage Pal

A free to use site, Bondage Pal offers a very basic search tool for finding members based on locality, age and kink. There are a few limited selections you can make when you register a profile about your fetishes and these are presumably used to make matches with other users. However, it’s not clear if this is in use as the first search we ran simply brought other members up by location irrespective of kinks.

You can make contact with other members and start a chat but beyond that, the service is simple.

Worth a look to see how many members are local to you.

bondage pal fetish dating guide

Alternative dating with Bondage Pal, users are active but functionality is basic. Image via website.


Less an actual dating site and more of a social networking tool, Fetlife is an online community for over five million fetishists.

Fetlife was launched in 2008 by a Canadian company with the aim of producing something ‘…like Facebook but run by kinksters like you and me’. The site hasn’t been without its fair share of bad press and was forced to change its policies in 2016 after a run of accusations suggesting the site was not doing all it could to protect its more vulnerable members.

If you have ever used Facebook then Fetlife’s features will be familiar to you and you can access groups and communities with similar likes to your own in order to connect with people in your area. Though not a dating tool, Fetlife does provide the opportunity for members to network with a view to forming relationships.

Since it’s policy changes in 2016, FetLife is only open to new members if they are invited by an existing user and there are now some limits on the type of groups that can be created.

Membership to the site is free but for those people who donate $5 a month additional benefits are available.

…Some of The Rest

When searching for fetish dating, there are quite a few potential sites that come up on search engine results. We wanted to cover a few of these as some are less popular than they first seem and, whilst you may find some good hook up opportunities, they may well be limited.

Each of these sites has activity and some good features but latest traffic reports suggest that they may well be more niche or dated in their community interaction.

Find A Munch

Reporting itself as the most extensive and actively updated worldwide source for events, parties, dungeons and meets, Find A Munch is a directory of links for adult fetishists.

Though online dating opportunities may be limited here and events may be dated in places, there is still some good information available on potential places to hook up.

A simple directory site, Find A Munch is easy to use but you may need to do some additional research to make sure links are in date.

find a munch fetish dating

Dated in places but still a good resource. Image via website.

BDSM Passions

Coming up in quite a few searches, this site is relatively inactive but does report itself to be much larger than it is. Currently ranked around 7,000,000 in global rankings there is not enough search engine data to create a traffic flow. Certainly not a site that offers good networking opportunities.

Slave Café

Recommended by quite a few Reddit users, Slave Café also ranks too low to produce any traffic information. However, it is evident that the site does have quite a few users who are active. Daily time on the site is around 5 minutes per user.

A social networking tool rather than a dating engine, Slave Café may be worth investigating in your area to see if there are many members.

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