The Best BDSM Sex Toys: A Buyer’s Guide

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When it comes to choosing the best BDSM sex toys there is a huge range of products to select from including paddles, whips and restraints to electro-stimulation and home dungeon furniture.

The beauty of BDSM is that it covers such a wide range of fetishes and kinks so most people can find a level of BDSM that they can incorporate into their sex life. From basic bondage to extreme domination, pleasure, pain and power play can all be enhanced with the right accessories.

So, whether you are looking to enhance an existing home dungeon or start building your own treasure trove of exciting bedroom accessories, we’ve put together a buyer’s guide to the ultimate in the best BDSM sex toys available on the market.

We’ve started the guide with a quick look at the basics of BDSM sex toys before giving you the run down on our best picks for accessorising your BDSM play. Each section of toys includes options for beginners as well as for advanced BDSM scene players.

The BDSM Basics: Kitting Out

If you are new to the BDSM scene or just looking to experiment with something kinky in the bedroom then you will need to stock up on some essential equipment. Before we get to the first section, which takes a look at the basic gear you will need to flirt with BDSM as a beginner, let’s address where to get it.

Our current favorite destination for BDSM toys and accessories is Extreme Restraints.

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Tip: Be sure to check the Clearance and Overstock categories for the latest hot deals on your bondage gear needs. There is also a daily special where you can get one of the hottest selling products on Extreme Restraints at 25% off.

OK – on with the top considerations for your BDSM starter kit…

Blindfolds

Sensory deprivation is a big part of a lot of BDSM play and blindfolds are a key part of enhancing sexual pleasure. The idea is easy to understand; by removing the ability of one sense to take part in the experience, other senses are magnified, increasing their sensitivity.

Not only does blindfolding enhance the experience for the submissive but also increases the element of power play and objectification for the dominant partner.

Blindfolds come in a range of options from simple masks, scarves and ties to complex hoods. Full face hoods can also incorporate gags or costume play as well as being designed for oral entry and come in a variety of materials including latex and leather.

Gags

Gags restrict the ability of one partner to be able to speak but also gives the dominant participant easy access to the mouth for oral pleasure. Simple gags can be fashioned at home using whatever you have to hand (stuffing a pair of panties in the mouth is simple and effective) but you can also buy specialist ball gags or even open mouth o-ring gags. Coming in a range of hard and soft materials and sizes, the main consideration is for anyone who has jaw and/or mouth issues.

Restraints

Another cornerstone of BDSM play is the ability to restrain one partner and the range of ways to do this is huge. From simple silk ties to chains, handcuffs and specialist furniture, the only limit is your imagination. You can opt for simple bondage tape, silk rope and chains or go all out for hogties or a St Andrew’s Cross. Key things to bear in mind are ease of release and safety of the user. Zip ties may seem like a cheap and authentic way to tie someone up but they can tighten on their own and can cause nerve damage if you aren’t careful.

Dildos and Vibrators

Insertables and stimulators are a great way to effect forced orgasm on your partner and come in a huge range from cordless wands that can be strapped to the body using bondage tape to butt plugs, strap ons and dildos. The assortment of sizes and shapes can add variety to your play with, once again, your own imagination being the only limit.

Body Clamps

A way of inflicting some form of pain on a partner, body clamps can be used on almost every area of the body but are most popularly used on nipples and genitals; however, they can be placed anywhere you desire. Starter clamps exert minimum pressure and you can source simple clothes pegs to do the trick whilst you experiment with them. For those who can tolerate greater pressure, you can purchase things like Japanese clover clamps that have a good ‘bite’.

Crops, Canes, Whips and Paddles

Depending on whether you want to cause a simple sting or really inflict some pain you can choose from a wide range of ways to deliver during impact play. If you are intending to smack genital areas then you may want to choose something like a crop which can also double up (if long enough) as a cane for other areas of the body. Canes deliver quite a sting and can break the skin. Choose from materials such as wood, plastic and acrylic and choose the thickness carefully; it doesn’t take a great deal of force to inflict a good deal of pain.

Likewise, whips and floggers can also cause injury depending on how thin the flays are and the material they are made from.

Paddles are made from a wider choice of materials and are a versatile way to strike many areas of the body without causing as much damage as a cane or whip.

Accessories

No BDSM kit would be complete without some essential equipment which includes condoms, lube and a basic medical kit. You should also ensure that you have stocked items like scissors to cut through any restraints that you might be using in the event of emergency release. Depending on what kind of BDSM scene you are into, you may want to consider any essentials that might be needed for suitable aftercare. This might include warm clothing, towels and sweet chocolate.

Best BDSM Restraints

Beginners

For a simple to use system that is versatile and low cost we think an Under Bed Restraint Kit offers the best choice. Available to buy from eBay for just $25, the straps can be easily adapted to make any bedroom into a quick dungeon. The system comes with ankle and wrist restraints and one strap which anchors beneath the bed making it suitable for any kind of set-up. There are various sellers offering basic restraint kits so go with one that your suits your budget. The best part about  these kits are the fact that they are highly portable meaning you can take your dungeon with you so any hotel, motel or guest room can be transformed.

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Simple, easy to use and it won’t break the bank. Image via website.

Advanced

There is no better way to restrain someone more simply than a classic hog tie and these cuffs and leather hog tie from Sportsheets offers a cost effective way to do it. Made with strong, adjustable cuffs and steel rings, you can buy this essential set from Risque Boutique for $44.95.

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Offered with a lifetime warranty, this hogtie set is sturdy and well made. Image via website.

Best Sex Swings

The delight of suspension during sex can combine power play and restraint with a freedom of access that is unrivalled with any other piece of furniture. With any swing or suspension device, it is strongly recommended that your anchor point is suitable to bear the weight of both the Sub and some rigorous downforce as swing sex can create additional load. Use a strong beam or reinforced doorframe.

Beginners

For anyone new to swings, this Fetish Fantasy Spinning Swing is ideal. Available from Adam and Eve for $169 the swing can be rotated in full 360 degrees making it ideal for parties for quick and easy access to multiple partners. The padded back supports offer a comfortable experience for your Sub and can accommodate weights of up to 350 lbs.

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Experience the freedom of weightless sex with this versatile spinning sex swing. Image via website.

Advanced

For anyone who has used a sex swing before then often the restraints aren’t too good on standard swings which is why we’ve chosen the Fetish Fantasy Bondage Swing for advanced users. Not only does it offer the same comfort, versatility and designs as the spinning swing but it also has sturdy D rings, stirrups and cuffs.

Offering a wider range of restrained positions for even wilder sex, you can buy the Fetish Fantasy Bondage Swing from SexSwing.com for $149.

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Fully adjustable, exotic positions are made easier with this versatile swing. Image via website.

Best Chastity Devices

Depriving someone of their senses or restraining them is one thing but putting them completely under your control takes a lot more doing and chastity devices are a wicked way to exercise total domination.

Beginners

Nothing says chastity more than stainless steel which offers no give at all rendering your Sub completely caged in his frustration. Coming with a set of three different sized cock rings to ensure a perfect fit, the cage comes with padlock and is an elegant and sturdy way to keep him bound in chastity.

This Stainless Steel Chastity Cock Cage can be bought for around $100 from retailers like Extreme Restraints.

 

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Keep your meat under wraps with this stylish cock cage for chastity play. Image via website.

Advanced

If you’ve tried chastity cages before then why not go one better and add urethral e-stim too? This Mystim Public Enemy No 2 E-Stim Cock Cage with Urethral Sound is pure torture. Made from a silicone and plastic cage with insertable penis plug and external stims, the cage comes with spacers for a comfortable fit as well as a hard and discreet travel case.

Available to buy from LoveHoney for $159.99, the E-Stim cock cage is a versatile but powerful piece of kit to enhance Sub/Dom play.

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Combine chastity and urethral play with this two in one cock cage. Image via website.

Best BDSM Electro-Sex Toys

e-stim sex toys aren’t for the faint hearted but can provide another dimension to BDSM play with a variety of uses that they can be put to. From wands, plugs and bands to clamps, probes and urethral inserts electro sex toys aren’t just powered by electricity but also the imagination.

Beginners

Perfect for beginners to e-stim is this simple electro shock therapy system which is similar in style to a TENS machine. Offering four pads to attach anywhere you see fit, the base unit has ten different programs offering the same number of speeds including preset patterns to mix up the treatment.

Sold by Adam and Eve for around $60, the kit comes with a four-foot-long cable, eye mask and features safety shut off, timer and power restrictor.

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Basic electro play on a budget for newcomers to BDSM. Image via website.

Advanced

For those advanced users of e-stim, we like the look of this combined cock and ball torture clamp board from Crush Electro. Available from Extreme Restraints for around $65, this combo ball pressure clamp and e-stim device offers the ultimate in pain and pleasure. With 10 different modes and 6 patterns of pulsing, the variation of pressure on the balls plus e-stim are almost endless.

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With 10 modes of intensity to deliver electro play, CBT can be varied with this combo clamp. Image via website.

Best Sex Machines

Sex machines come in a range of choices from hand held power tools (effectively a reciprocating saw with the blade replaced with a dildo) to gliders (or Monkey Rockers) where the motion of the thrust is determined by a rocking action powered by the user. More expensive machines have a higher torque output and are less portable but ultimately more pleasurable whereas saddles like the popular Sybian simply create a basic upwards thrust whilst the user is mounted on the saddle.

Beginners

For a starter fucking machine then you can do no better than the portable Bull Hand-Held Fucking Machine. At a cost of just $317.25 from retailers like Fetish Zone, this highly portable but powerful pounding piece of kit can give you a firm, fast fuck. It comes with two different sized dildos to mix up your automated orgasms and features handy bull bars to grip as you cum.

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Use the handles to adapt this sex machine to your choice of position. Image via website.

Advanced

The Maestro Sex Machine is a good mid-range sex machine that has an adjustable speed of between 90 and 300 RPM. Fully adjustable for height, depth, angle and stroke speed, the machine is compatible with most screw-in devices as well as the Vac-U-Lock system.

The stroke length can be added to with an extension arm and can penetrate at 10 inches (outer length).

Available in a discreet box, the machine is pretty portable and reasonably quiet though we can’t guarantee you or your partner will be when you are using it.

You can buy the Maestro Sex Machine from My Sexy Fantasies for $599.99.

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Made with precision craftsmanship for ultimate safety and comfort, this sex machine is extremely powerful and versatile. Image via website.

Best Home Sex Dungeon

If you have the luxury of a dedicated space that you can call your home dungeon then you will want to furnish it with the best equipment that money can buy. Don’t be tempted to opt for budget furniture as many people underestimate the force applied during sessions which can limit the life of these low-cost options. Always go for wipe-clean materials and choose well built furnishings that can support the weight of, not just one but, two people.

Beginners

Our choice of dungeon furniture is the Blackwood Bondage Horse. Sturdily built and using vinyl coated, non-porous material, the padded horse is easy on the knees for extended power play and makes a stylish centre piece for a home dungeon. There are plenty of D rings for using your choice of restraints and, once mounted, can be used as the showpiece for a wide range of innovative ways to tease, torment and titivate your Submissive.

The Blackwood Bondage Horse is available at a price of around $1,000 from Extreme Restraints.

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A classic design, the horse is comfortable yet practical and offers flexibility in restraining your Sub. Image via website.

For accessorizing your dungeon on a budget, you can opt for a more simple but equally as versatile standard Fuck Bench, also available from Extreme Restraints, for around $500.

Advanced

If you are looking for something more extreme and infinitely more substantial to extend your BDSM play to a new level then we like the look of the Total Lockdown System. Made from steel, this version of a St Andrew’s Cross is a formidable piece of restraint furniture and can be adjusted to have your partner bent at a variety of angles complete with an interchangeable range of different length spreader bars. The system has pads and comes with steel dildo, dildo holder for your choice of insertable, ball crusher and chest crusher. The system can be portable but works best if you can securely bolt it down to your dungeon floor.

Available from Extreme Restraints at a cost of $1400 and is a jewel of a piece of kit for any advanced BDSM player’s dungeon set-up.

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With more positions than the traditional St Andrews X, the lockdown system is the ultimate in restraint furniture. Image via website.

Best BDSM Clothing

When it comes to clothing, BDSM players will have their own favorite styles, costumes and accessories depending on the type of scene they are into. However, there are some classics that we think most BDSM aficionados will appreciated no matter what.

Beginners

Surely no dungeon play would be complete without a classic leather body harness and this sturdily built one with cock ring is available on Amazon from $80-$90 and comes in two sizes. Fully adjustable with a snap-out cock ring, this harness is made from 1.25 inch leather straps which can accommodate D rings and has multiple adjustment points to ensure a snug fit.

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Not for the ‘vanilla’ world, this body suit is comfortable and fully adjustable. Image via website.

Advanced

Nothing gives better sensory deprivation than a full hood but we prefer ours with an open mouth. This Sensory Deprivation Hood with Open Mouth Mask is stylish and covers ears and eyes whilst providing ample breathing space through well-positioned nose holes. The open mouth is stylishly decorated with stainless steel details and features a plug so you can cover their mouth for the ultimate in dark and kinky play.

Available to but through Extreme Restraints, you can pick one up for $74.99.

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Heighten the senses with this deprivation hood which includes mouth plug. Image via website.

Best Crops, Paddles, Whips and Floggers

Beginners

Adam and Eve make their own range of ticklers, paddles and whips and their Scarlet Beat Me Please Whip offers a great entry level flogger. Made from 14” long red and black leather strips, it has a comfortable grip and gives just the right amount of pain from its sting. You can buy it direct from Adam and Eve for around $60.

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A solid basic whip in vegan friendly red and black leather. Image via website.

Advanced

Offering a little more ‘bite’ for those experienced in impact play is the Spiked Leather Fraternity Paddle from Extreme Restraints. Yours for around $60, this leather spanking tool is imprinted with small metal teeth on just one side. The anticipation of which side you use heightens the play and keeps your Sub guessing.

Made from reinforced leather, this sturdy paddle can take a beating but can you?

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Spiked on one side only for the ultimate game of ‘heads or tails’. Image via website.

Best BDSM Accessories

Beginners

When it comes to gags, anything soft to hand can work well but we like soft O-rings and this Master Series Sissy Mouth Gag with silicone lips ticks all the boxes. Available to buy from Hustler Hollywood for just $20.00, it positively begs for filling.

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Soft restraints and an open mouth make this gag a good choice for humiliation play suitable for Subs and Doms. Image via website.

Anyone starting out with an interest in cock and ball torture (CBT) will enjoy these weights which can be clamped on to the balls and left to suspend in an exquisite combination of pleasure meeting pain. Available from Extreme Restraints you can buy a set for $60.

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Stylish and functional for flexible CBT play. Image via website.

Advanced

For some additional prickly play, we like these Vampire Gloves available from Tom of Finland Tools. Made from leather and accessorized with 100 stainless steel 1/8” long spikes, these gloves can lightly claw to tease and torment. Unless used with excessive force such as slapping or grabbing, they will not puncture the skin. Priced at $45, they are an unusual accessory for the more advanced BDSM player.

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Made for a light touch, these gloves are perfect for sensory play but not impact play. Image via website.

Featured image via Extreme Restraints.

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