The Best BDSM Dating and Fetish Hookup Sites

0

Living the BDSM lifestyle but struggling to find dates or hook-ups?

The world of internet dating can seem a little too vanilla for a lot of kinksters and most mainstream hookup sites don’t seem to cater for the desires and fetishes of the BDSM community…or do they?

Big name brands Adult Friend Finder and easySex have both produced dedicated dating sites for the fetish community but are they worth paying subscription fees for and what are your chances of getting a date?

In this guide, we take a look at the best BDSM dating and fetish hookup sites as well as a few to avoid.

Online BDSM Dating: Some General Tips

Very briefly as we don’t want to teach anyone the rules of their own games but we did want to give you a couple of tips and tricks to improve your chances of a hook-up as well as how to stay safe.

First of all, if you are trying to arrange a hook-up with a woman online then your best chance of success is not to go in ‘all guns blazing’.

A lot of the women that we found on these sites were new to the scene or certainly on the lighter side of the fetish, maybe still experimenting. As a result, it’s a sure fire way to being blocked or ignored to send explicit messages from the get go. We found it far more effective to make the initial contact softer to encourage conversation. Coming off as approachable rather than a deviant sex pest is far more likely to get a response even if you warm up to what you are really after.

Don’t lie, just try to build up your approach.

As for arranging a hookup, our advice is the same on fetish dating as it is with any online dating. Always meet people somewhere that you know well and that you have worked out your escape plan from. This can be appropriate if you find that the date doesn’t go to plan or is ‘suspicious’.

Let someone know where you are going to be and the details of who you are meeting.

Lastly, if you get a gut feeling that something isn’t right…trust it.

Alt.com

https://alt.com/

The biggest and best known alternative dating site for members of the fetish, kink and BDSM communities, Alt.com is run by the Adult Friend Finder network. As the second largest social networking site in the world (behind Facebook) the AFF network is huge and Alt.com is no different. Boasting around 1.1 million active members, the site incorporates all of the same add-ons and features that has made Adult Friend Finder so successful since 1995.

alt dot com fetish dating site

With over a million members, alt.com is the largest online dating website for the BDSM community.

As with any dating site, there is often the suggestion that many of these sites run automated accounts or staff profiles to try and boost interaction with new members. There is none of this kind of funny business on Alt.com.

There is a comprehensive way to search other members including location, age and role type. Paid up members can also narrow the results by body type, race, sexual orientation as well as various physical attributes (breast size, hair color, eye color etc) and many more specifics.

The chances of finding someone in your area who shares your kinks is very high and Alt.com regularly receives top reviews from users who are pleased with the quality of the dates they can achieve via the site.

Free to join, the best chances of success with Alt.com does come via a paid membership as you can contact members more easily and, with gold membership, boost your profile to the top of search results. Monthly subscription fees start at $8.95 up to $29.95.

You can find our full review of Alt.com here.

Bondage

www.bondage.com

‘Don’t get tied down, get tied up’

We wanted to mention this site as it crops up when you search for BDSM dating sites; however, bondage.com is run by the same company as Alt.com. The Bondage.com site offers nothing different to the main site but is just a different branding of the same offering.

Perversions

http://www.perversions.com/

Run by the easysex.com network, Perversions is a spin off fetish/kink dating and hook-up site that rates pretty highly with users. Registration is free with a lifetime membership guaranteed but you are required to enter your credit card details to validate your age. The small print opts you in to a free 24 hour VIP gold membership to the site which auto-renews at a charge of $39.95 each month. You can opt out of this when you first register but is regarded my many as a sneaky way of charging people to use the service. That said, the additional benefits of the gold membership are worth paying for as upgrading to this level of service will bring you better chances of a kinky hook-up.

perversions bdsm hookup site review

Perversions is run by easysex.com and boasts plenty of members. Image via website.

You also get free cam shows, advanced and unlimited search functionality and more contact options. Using the site without membership is like browsing a library where all the best titles are wrapped in cellophane. Useful to get a feel for what’s out there but not great for getting a real sense of the content.

The site is easy to use and offers a less ‘busy’ desktop than some of the other sites we’ve seen. Intuitive search functionality make finding suitable members easy and contacting other users is also straightforward.

Overall, the site has a lot of bells and whistles that justify the monthly subscription but you can get distracted by the extras and forget to use the site for its best potential; a way of getting a BDSM date.

Fet Life

https://fetlife.com/

Fet Life is the social networking site for anyone into the fetish or BDSM scene and has tens of thousands of registered members in every US state. Sort of like Facebook and Instagram, members can explore the scene in their area making connections with other users that have a similar interest. The site has a great coverage of events and there are plenty of local groups in every location to expand your network with.

fet life bdsm hook up and kinky dating

Fet Life: a BDSM social networking site offers good hook up opportunities. Image via website.

All kinds of kinks are covered on Fet Life and there is bound to be a group to suit your tastes with good opportunities for hooking up with other suitable fetishists. You can use Fet Life to find potential hook ups by searching for your favorite fetish and indicating whether you are curious about it or into it with a soft or hard limit. By selecting whether you want to give, receive, watch or have any role whatsoever, Fet Life adds the information to your profile and suggests suitable members for making contact with.

The best way to meet and connect with people is by getting active and involved in local community forums and groups. Find one that serves your fetish or local area and start connecting with other members. Introduce yourself and find out where they meet for munches. Don’t be a wallflower.

Bondage Dating

www.bondagedating.com

This site is definitely for the more experienced fetishists and not for amateurs or experimenters. Bondage Dating has gotten a bit of a bad name for itself as a lot of the the groups tend not to be inclusive and can leave new members high and dry for hook ups. However, its all about perseverance with this site and proving yourself to be part of the community. It can put some people off using the site but it shouldn’t as there are some good connections to be made here and, depending on where you live, plenty of potential hook-ups.

bondage dating website

Some slim offerings on this site but still worth a look. Image via website.

You can sign up for free and search other members to start chatting. Bear in mind though that free members don’t get the same level of response from paid up members as quite often they find that free members are timewasters. Understanding the mindset behind this site is key to getting a good level of response.

Wild Card: Kink Red

www.kinkred.com

This site is still in beta testing and is looking for new members to help beat out the bugs. As an active way to find new dates and hook-ups, you will get better chances on other sites but getting on board with a new BDSM dating site at the start of its launch is exciting. Those members that are willing to be guinea pigs have a commonality which creates another bond. The best part is that beta testers get lifetime free membership so it does pay to be a part of this new venture.

Not only that but you get the opportunity to help shape a new BDSM dating site that is designed for people like you. How often do you get that kind of chance? Worth a go for people who have time and who are willing to try something new.

kink red bdsm dating website

The chance to create a new BDSM dating experience; Kink Red. Image via website.

And, Some Sites to Miss

Sadly, there are more bad sites around than there are high quality ones and we would be doing you all a disservice if we didn’t draw your attention to the scams and poor quality ones. Some of these sites offer plenty of action but in our experience (and using reviews from other users sourced online) we’ve found these sites to either be a complete waste of time, grossly mis-selling the extent of the kink contained in their site or just too scammy.

  • BDSM Singles – we found that the claims about member numbers here appears to be vastly overstated with many reviews appearing to support the claims that the company use fake profiles manned by their staff to encourage interaction and membership upgrades.
  • CollarMe – this site has far too many fake or poorly put together profiles for our liking and suggests that those who do use it for dating aren’t that fussy about who they meet. By poorly put together, we mean that either little or no effort has been spent on a profile or that they have gone to an extreme effort to appear as ‘weird’ as possible. Not a site we would recommend in a hurry.

Featured image via bondage.com

Share.

About Author

Leave A Reply